i just heard news about my high school friend's boyfriend. apparently he committed suicide.. which is all a very big question cos just last week he proposed to her and all seemed well.. sometimes i think about all these things that have been happpening my 2 friends' death and now this. i really question what is His greater plan which we supposedly not question about?.. but then again i shouldn't really be asking this at all. life is so vulnerable.. just met stella from primary school today on the train and realize that she herself is not really surviving well in school. she said she was in recluse.. she can actually tell me that.. i'm really worried and wondering and realizing at this very moment that i'm much better off that many people now.. the whole thing about being in your comfort zone and trying to not seem like you're dying for company.......... it's all crap`` we're all very lonely trying to reach out to many people. we all want friends and company but we're all too sucked up in our own pride to do or just say so.. and for those that think they have everything they want.. you can never be more wrong.... people's lives can just be taken away just like that, a snap... wendy's death taught me alot of things. i believed i knew many things aout life before. but only now that i see the boundless things that have been left undiscovered. her death taught me not to be so full of pride and stop and talk to people that i meet on the streets that i've not seen for a while. we're all too caught up in our lives to realize that. you never know what might happen the next moment. and yet there are people who see old friends and can just walk pass like that without giving a nod.. i was angry, sad, broken, felt pain and above all guilty that i did not even contact wendy even when i had a gut feeling weeks before the accident to do so. GUILTY.. it was horrible... i blamed myself so much. please, stop and appreciate the wonderful people around you. you never know. stop being selfish and think that your life is the only thing in this whole wide world that needs caring for. call up your old friends. talk to them. get to know them once again. have coffee. anything. just don't regret not doing so in future. life is not only about YOU. its about everybody. there are so many questions about life out there. try discovering them. you'll be surprised that you're not all that knowledgeble.

.:pseudonym:. burned at 11:21 PM