Homeostatic imbalance
can be pretty scary...

i experienced the "out-of-body-experience" today. was at city hall waiting for the arrival of 106 when i suddenly had a case of really REALLY bad cramps. i seldom get cramps. and suddenly i felt really faint like i was about to fall over or something. i can't even remmeber what i was grabbing onto. railing perhaps? then my eyes couldn't focus. they were wide open but jsut couldn't focus everything was a blur.

then suddenly and i mean S.U.D.D.E.N.L.Y i had a uncontrolled regurgitation session at the alley beside capitol building. was B.A.D man. cos really i only had a bottle of yakult and nothing else but i was like emptying every single shit there was in my stomach against my own will. then i stopped thank god. and everything was still a blur. i was freaking scared can.
i thought.
maybe this is the last place on earth i will see before i go. but of course i didn't die. how can i if i'm typing now. waaasssa? what am i talking about.
i was really weak but i sitll head to school anyway. cos ther was a test and a presentation today. dind't want to miss them.

so i got to school like with jelly legs and all, sat down at macs with shi ting and dan and realize only then that i was like in horrible shape. bad shape. i couldn't sit straight without feeling faint. i was like a lump of crap on the table. they urged me to go home and take the test another day. i succumbed. i was too feeble to argue. thank god for friends that care for me. marianna, weng, sylvia, jac and all..esp ernest, he offered to drive me home. these guys are full of love man. called my mom and they came down to pick me. hah. i just remmebered, i was sitting at the front office waiting for them to arrive and someone from my class saw me sitting there and asked "renee? why are you stoning there?" i was soo weak yet i felt like laughing but i couldn't.. i merely waved for their dismissal.. hilarious.

so we went for lunch at tiong bahru ate some bee hoon soup thingy. can't remb what it was. no appetite anyway and went to see a doc. so i'm back. feeling much more stable but just as weak. doc said it was accumulation of various things, late nights, stress, period and the fact htat i may have a throat infection. cos its really "ripe tomato red" or so he claims. i'm sorry doc. that was a real good try. but i'm sick.

so i'm home. not even sure why i'm typing. maybe cos i need to tell someone about it. how scary it felt. but jsut too weak to talk.
i just want to sleep....

.:pseudonym:. burned at 4:20 PM