about this afternoon.
basically i got poked. thrice. with the syringe. the 2mm bore syringe.
the second time induced a whole lot of bleeding. external an internal.
the third time it got in place but still there was internal bleeding. but we went ahead with the donation anyway.
after filling up the 500ml blood pack. the nurse stopped the whole thing. but i was still swollen like crap. it was 2 cm above the skin surface. the doctor measured. it was basically pretty huge.
she pressed on the wound. tried to make the blood come out. didn't.

and it obviously hurt like mad.
the doctor came. gave me a 'OMFG' look. and did the same. applied pressure on my wound. didn't help either. and again. it hurt like mad.
he measured the swelling and said,"lee, i'm going to puncture your wound with a small surgical needle to ease the pressure build up on our skin cos we don't want to risk any tissue damage. is that ok?" i have no idea why he adressed me with my family name.
well. what do you think doc? of course its O.K.
he poked two small holes on my two swollen areas and blood just came spurting out.
it was like a mini surgery in the donation room.

again, it hurt like mad.

but i managed to get through it anyway.
cos i thought of sick children and adults.
people basically.
people who were either terminally ill or less fortunate than me.
people who had to undergo heart surgery, kidney surgery, amputation. weird disease that i study about that actually eat away your flesh alive and that the only way to rid it was to operate and slice off that piece of infected flesh.
basically, people who were not as fortunate as me. what is three small puncture wounds? as compared to a 20 cm long stitch up? surely i, who was lying on a comfy leather bed with air-conditioned surroundings, with nurses that cared and tended to your every little detail. surely i was better off.
that was how i blocked out the pain that was inflicted.
i thought about how i used to play with my blade when i was depressed and thought, surely i deserved this. to use pain in such vanity.

yet another episode in mediocrity.

kudos to the kind attention of all the nurses at hsa, tended to me and made sure i was feeling well. really nice nurses.

.:pseudonym:. burned at 12:46 AM