i feel very sad.

suddenly i don't see and understand the meaning of human life.
we all die in the end. so why make us go through all this.
the happiness, the adrenaline, the boredom, the uncomprehendable moments, the sadness, the excruiciating pain and the plain devastation when someone dies.
why?
i sometimes find myself asking that question.

london was bombed through this morning.
and i feel truly sad.
sad on three counts.

1) i love london.
....its kinda weird but it pains me to see it being torn apart on the telly. its as if it were my hometown.

2) why the bombers don't value human life.
....its self explainatory. i feel sad that they believe in their way of settling things.

3) i can't understand the meaning of all this.
....like how i started this post. why do we have to go through all this? its ironic. sometimes you just get stuck in a rut and see yourself as a third being. what is the meaning of all this. when life is so fragile. what exactly is the meaning. the meaning of living. i am ashamed to say this but i feel like giving up. letting go. when something bad like this happens. yet i get truly emotional when i find out such sad news.

there was a bus accident just outside the lagoon today.
the driver hit head on, onto the pillar of the bus stop. thankfully no one else was injured and the bus was empty. the driver though suffered pretty bad head injuries. you get what you give. that's my only take.

a fish died in my hands today.
it was sputtering in my hands.
it was pretty. it was silver and yellow.
with pink bands at its fins' edges.
then it stopped breathing.

tell me. how do i not feel sad.
its a bad day today.

.:pseudonym:. burned at 9:58 PM